Booking an escort to your London hotel: the etiquette nobody tells you

Most of my escort bookings end in a hotel room somewhere between Paddington and Belgravia, and a surprising number of the men who make them have never done it before. Nobody hands you the etiquette. So here it is, from the woman on the other side of the door.

How to book an escort to your hotel

WhatsApp is easiest, though a text or a call to +44 7761 537257 works too. Tell me the day, the time, how long, and roughly where you’re staying: Kensington, Knightsbridge, Mayfair, wherever. Still deciding between your room and my flat? Here’s how incall vs outcall compares in Earl’s Court, Kensington and Chelsea. I need a first name and a number that isn’t withheld.

I’ll also ask for the name the room is booked under. Not for a file (I don’t keep one), but because if anyone asks who I’m visiting, I want to answer like a guest, without a pause. It also tells me you’re really staying where you say you are, which keeps us both comfortable.

The hotel and the room number go in our chat, typed out, never in a link. Not in a booking form, not in a calendar invite, not in a shared map pin. Our thread is the only place that detail lives, and you can delete it in the morning.

Give me a day’s notice for a date and two for an overnight. I’m bookable from 8am to 10pm, seven days, though a whole night with me simply carries on past ten. An hour at your hotel is £250 and two hours £450, anywhere in West and Central London, with my taxi on top.

There’s no deposit, for a single hour or a whole night. I don’t need your money in advance; I need you to be there. If plans change, let me know the moment you do, and if your meeting overruns, text me. I would much rather have a coffee on Kensington Church Street than stand in your corridor wondering.

The bar first, or straight up to the room

Both are fine, and neither is a test.

A drink in the lobby bar is the nicest start if you’re nervous. Twenty minutes, something cold in a heavy glass, a little flirting in public, and by the time we go upstairs we’ve already been on a date. Tell me what you’re wearing and I’ll find you; you won’t need to wave.

Straight to the room is just as civilised. Text me the room number when I say I’m close and I’ll come straight up. Nobody looks twice at a well-dressed woman who walks like she knows where she’s going, because she does.

Discretion: how I arrive

I dress for the hotel, not for the photos on this website. A good coat, a dress that would pass in any bar in Mayfair, heels I can actually walk in. What’s underneath is for you, and it’s considerably less sensible.

I always text from round the corner, about five minutes out. It gives you time to hang up your trousers, close the laptop and turn the big light off. It means you’re expecting a soft knock rather than startled by one. And it’s your moment to send me the room number, if you haven’t already.

Then you open the door. I’m smiling, the coat is buttoned to the throat, and you have no idea yet about the stockings.

Cut to: the coat on the carpet, still in the shape of me.

The envelope, and what to have ready

Payment is at the start, cash or bank transfer, and the quietest way is the best one. Leave the envelope, my taxi fare tucked in with it, somewhere I’ll see it, on the desk or the dressing table. Don’t hand it over like a tip, don’t count it out in front of me, and please don’t apologise for it. I’ll pick it up, drop it in my bag, and money is never mentioned again. Prefer a transfer? Send it once I’m through the door and we skip the envelope altogether.

The rest of the list is short:

• A shower, taken just before I get there. It’s the single kindest thing you can do.
• A drink for each of us. Something from the minibar is lovely; sparkling water with ice is sexier than you’d think.
• Kindness. Manners, a sense of humour and your phone face down. That’s it.

Leaving gracefully

When our time is nearly up, I’ll tell you softly, not with an alarm. I’ll take a quick shower if there’s time, dress and go. Don’t walk me out; a kiss at the door is perfect. You don’t need to fill the last minute with small talk, and you don’t need to text me a review on my way home.

If you’d like to see me again, say so before I leave or message me the next day. If you’re in London for a few more nights, the second booking is easier still: I already know the room, the corridor and which corner to text you from. All my escort and GFE rates are on the services page, and if there’s something you’d rather ask first, get in touch.